


Broken

by mabomanji



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Caretaking, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hospitals, Injury, M/M, Missions Gone Wrong, Rescue, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-25 07:03:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2612654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mabomanji/pseuds/mabomanji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky is trapped under a huge concrete wall during a mission. He's alone, lost in the wreckage and starts losing hope at being rescued. But a voice soon calls his name and he knows he's in good hands when he realises it's the voice of Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

He can’t feel nor see his legs underneath the huge concrete wall that landed on them in the blast. They were out in that shabby neighborhood, following their targets when the old building just collapsed right on him. He’s lucky he didn’t get hit in the head, he wouldn’t be feeling anything anymore at the moment. He groans trying to clear his head and maybe find a solution to get out of this trap. He tries to push the wall with his hands, the clinking of his metal arm readjusting itself for the push is clear in the silence after the explosion. He pauses a moment, he didn’t even move the wall for an inch. He lets his head fall back against the ground, taking a deep breath, closing his eyes, knowing this is a tricky situation and he doesn’t have many options now. In fact he has none. He feels a little bit hopeless. He can sense the wounds on his body start to radiate with pain, a sure witness to his being alive. But he can’t move his legs at all and this thought is the one that is frightening him deep down. He refuses to give up, he’s stronger than this.

He opens his eyes, focus his energy on his arms and rises trying to push the concrete away from him. He grips the wall with full force, pushing harder and harder until he groans and shouts in his effort, eyes closed and head lowered. His back muscles start aching and now his arms shake under the pressure but nothing else is moving. He lets go of everything, tears of frustration coming to his eyes and falls back hard on the ground, heavy breath coming out of his mouth twitched into a grimace. He feels frustration fill his heart and just crush his hands on the wall, making one of them bleed, no care at all for inflicting more injuries to his own body.

He lets a small whisper escape his mouth “Steve…” realizing how much he needs him and how far he is from coming to his rescue. He lays there, he is in the hands of fortune, whether he’ll be saved or not is a mystery. He dreads being left behind, alone with the pain, trying to just barely cope and survive as long as he can. He has done this all his life but never knew how tiring it would become, how he would hate it after discovering it wasn’t necessary. Well it only lasted a few months but he’s glad of the life he has come to experience since he came back to Steve.

And he really doesn’t want this life to end as stupidly as being crushed under a wall.

“Bucky ?”

A faint voice reaches his ears and he awakens from the unconsciousness he let himself fall into. He opens his eyes and rises a little, turning his head in every direction, whispering again “Steve ?” He tires his eyes trying to see who’s around him, who’s looking for him.

“Bucky !”

The voice is closer now and he can recognize the voice of his friend, he suddenly feels hope filling his body, pushes himself in a sitting position, looking everywhere and finally he shouts back “Steve !”

He can hear noises of rocks being pushed away and someone coming through. “Bucky!” He can finally see him, so big and strong, his costume is covered in dust and the former bright blue and red look pale. It’s him and he knows he’s saved, he knows he can trust his friend, that everything will be alright now. He let’s out a sigh of relief escape his mouth with his name in it. “Steve…”

His friend reaches his side, kneeling next to him, looking at him with concerned eyes.

“Bucky ? Are you alright ?

\- I’m stuck under this wall and i can’t seem to push it away” he says already moving to try and push it again, but this time Steve’s hands land right next to his and push together with him. The wall doesn’t move an inch though Steve tries his hardest. He changes his position trying another time, so sure he can lift it up. But it fails again. He pauses and breathes a moment, looking at this problem, trying to find a way to free his friend. He’s rushing around, trying to find tools to help him.

“I’m going to get you out of here Bucky just wait a moment...

\- It’s alright Steve you don’t have to, just go away now, you can come back later with some help.” But it’s like he doesn’t hear any of the words he just said. Steve tries to pull the wall from the other side, he tries lifting it up, goes back to find more tools, tries to use a metal bar to lift it but fails again. He’s moving fast and without any break now, and Bucky can barely follow his movements. He’s dozing off, almost losing consciousness and he fights against that.

Steve’s just decided to give up on tools and just focus on weakening the structure. He punches hard, bare handed on the wall, trying to destroy it into little pieces of rock. But the wall is so strong it’s going to take a while until he can finally break it all. He’s moving as fast as he can, looking at his friend from time to time, afraid of him closing his eyes and never opening them again. He has a fast pace that he keeps as regular as possible, a mantra forming in his head while he punches his way through concrete. “I’m not losing him, I’m not losing him…”

A huge chunk of wall finally tear apart and this is a tiny hope but still hope and he keeps on punching, increasing his pace, looking at Bucky to see if he has seen his progress. He stops right there, his friend’s eyes are closed and they aren’t moving at all. He tries to call out for him, he moves close to him shaking his shoulder, leaning down to hear if he still got a breath. He’s so relieved to hear him breathe he just stays there close to him his forehead on his chest which is slowly moving up and down. He doesn’t have much time. He can see his friend is in bad shape and he really needs to get him out as fast as he can. So he jumps back to his feet and resume his punching the wall mercilessly. Cracking it little piece by little piece, adding more dust to his costume and hair and face. Only his blue eyes shine with a great determination.

One loud crack and the wall finally stumbles away from Bucky who is awakened by the huge noise and the weight getting off of him.

Steve comes back to him checking his legs, wincing when he realizes the depth and gravity of the wounds. He takes Bucky’s hand and pass his arm around his neck, reaching to take him up in his arms.

“What do you think you’re doing Rogers ?” He tries to escape the huge arms that have wraped him close to his friend. “Put me down !” But Steve doesn’t stop and just walks away from the wreckage, making sure he doesn’t miss a step now that he’s holding something precious to him. He squeezes his friend a little bit closer to him, preventing him from ever escaping.

Once he’s reached the rescue team he lets the paramedics do their job but follows his friend until Bucky’s hand grab his own hand making him stop.

“It’s alright now Steve you can go...”

He’s confused and still in a savior mode so he doesn’t even understand what Bucky is asking him.

“No i’m not leaving you buddy !

\- You have to…” he answers in a tiny voice, losing consciousness again “Go now…help the others… i’m fine…”

He looks at Bucky with round eyes, not wanting to let go of him, still scared of the moment he thought he had forever lost him. But his soft voice has soothed him and he has to believe in the doctors work, he’s useless to his friend.

So he nods a little and reluctantly let go of Bucky’s hand and watch him being taken away by the medical team. He feels empty and without a purpose at that moment. But he has work to do so he runs towards the fallen building, pushing his thoughts of Bucky away as much as he can to try and focus on the work at hand.

He wakes up feeling his whole body ache from toe to head. He tries moving every muscle slowly feeling the pain rise very fast, letting the sensation remind him of his luck, ending up enjoying it, waking up his body, the warmth of the covers reassuring him. He relaxes into his pillow turning his head to bury it even more, letting a sigh escape his mouth, drifting back into sleep.

He opens his eyes again when he hears Steve’s voice. He didn’t expect to hear it here so at first he thinks he’s just imagining it because he wants to see him so much. But it’s real, he can really hear it close. He turns his head towards his door and now the voice is clearer.

“Steve Rogers… i need to see the man I… Buc… James Barnes”

Hearing him say his nickname so easily before correcting himself and saying his full name makes his heart flutter unexpectedly. His eyes are intently turned towards the door, he can’t wait for it to open on a familiar face. He hears the voice talking to another voice for some time and it’s making him anxious, he really needs to see his friend but now he’s taking more time just outside his room. He’s so close and yet he can’t see him.

Steve comes in, covered in dust and looking dirty, but most of all he’s bruised everywhere with little cuts on his face which haven’t healed yet. He just came back directly from his mission and rushes to his side, leaving the two agents protecting the room to close the door behind him.

“You alright ?”

Bucky smiles softly at him, still in the haze induced by the medication. He’s calm and peaceful and so glad to see his friend, nothing else seems to matter to him. But he looks closely at Steve and raises a hand making him stop in his tracks though he wanted to sit on the bed.

“Go away !”

Those words have a terrible effect on his friend. He can see his face taking the blow in full force, his eyes saddened and his mouth opening in a silent question. He’s terribly hurt and it’s his fault. He stays where he is, silent, hesitating.

“You can come later today to bring me home but now you need to tend to your wounds and clean up. You’re a mess.”

The relief in Steve’s face is so intense it melts his heart. He managed to say the right thing at the right time and he’s glad he did it quick because he couldn’t bear to see Steve hurt like that. He feels a rush of sweet emotions he didn’t suspect at all come over him and he would like to take his friend’s hand so badly but he can’t since he asked him to go away. He already misses him though he hasn’t left yet.

Steve smiles then, they nod at each other and he finally goes away, closing the door really softly.

The feelings that have grown in Bucky’s heart are overwhelming him now that his friend is gone. He had no idea he had that many feelings inside of him, he feels such an affection for Steve, he realizes how much he loves being close to him and knowing he means a lot to him. And seeing him go away again is too hurtful. He feels tears streaming down on his face and despair pour into his heart, body broken and tired, hazy with all his medication. He places his hands on his face, hiding his sadness, trying to find a little comfort with the touch of his skin, but it just makes him cry harder and he loses it, just falling completely in his loneliness and sorrow, sobbing like a desperate child.

The door opens on Steve again “I have a message from Natasha…” He stops right away when he sees the state in which Bucky is and rushes to his side, sitting close to him on the bed, putting a reassuring hand on his face, looking extremely worried. “What is it Bucky ? Are you hurt ?”

He doesn’t feel sure enough to lift his hands and tries to speak to his friend anyway “I’m alright… It’s nothing” But he can feel in his heart it’s not alright and he doesn’t know what to do to make it better.

Steve is helpless and just takes Bucky’s face still hidden in his hands, “Tell me what’s going on ?” He doesn’t want to push him out of his hands and force him abruptly to look at him. He just stays close, still making contact with his face and waiting for him to share his load. He’s distressed at this sudden burst of emotions from his friend who’s so stoic all the time.

Slowly Bucky brings his hands away from his face, keeping his eyes away from his friend, blinking in the harsh artificial light, battling through his tears, trying to steady his breath in order to speak.

“I was so scared of you being hurt in the fight…” He passes a hand on his eyes, trying to wipe the tears away, he feels Steve’s hands on his face and he can finally feel their touch, the warmth passing through Steve’s body onto him, reassuring and soothing. He puts his own hands on top of Steve’s, closing his eyes again, enjoying the feeling.

Steve’s heart tightens when he hears those words “I’m alright Bucky, i’m stronger than i look !”

Bucky’s soft laugh lightens the mood instantly “Yeah you don’t look that strong that’s right” He sighs again letting his hands fall back on the bed, opening his eyes to look fondly at Steve.

The tension is becoming milder and they both feel finally at ease. Steve gets up again to leave but this time Bucky knows exactly what to say, he can't let this ache gets hold of him again. He can't possibly stand the sight of Steve's back walking away from him anymore.

"Steve ?" He waits for his friend to turn around and face him before asking his question in a very small voice quite unusual for him.

"Could you.... stay with me ?" He sees his friend's eyes express his surprise and goes on while he still has the courage to ask. "I don't want to be left alone..." He ends almost in a whisper. But every word reached Steve loud and clear, packed with emotions so vivid it makes his heart reach out for Bucky. He's never seen him so small and fragile, he wants to protect him more than anything.

He sits on his bed a soft smile on his lips and leans on Bucky's face delicately wiping his tears away. Playing with his hair and caressing his cheek until his frown has disappeared.

"You know what ? Why don't we ask the doctor if we can bring you back home since you'll be healing a lot faster than most humans ?"

The huge smile that answers him is enough to melt his heart.

"I'd love that !

\- So you could rest in your own bed and be at ease. And i'll take care of you, making sure you take your medicine.

\- And distracting me by playing games with me.

\- And cooking you dinner..."

They're both excited by this idea, already planning all the things they could do together. They feel like naughty boys preparing a plan filled with tricks. Bucky is so happy to see the same excitement he feels in Steve's eyes he smiles like a kid, and his face lit up, which mesmerizes Steve.

Excited about their plan they start acting upon it, Steve deals with the doctors and Bucky slowly dresses up, barely letting his feet on the ground, trying his hardest to be as quick as possible. The prospect of going back home with Steve taking care of him pleases him so much he barely feels any pain when he has to move his legs to put on his shoes. He’s still trying to lace them up when Steve comes back, looking happy. In an instant he’s at his friend’s side, pushing him back to sit on a chair and lacing the shoes himself.

“I’ve talked to the medical staff and they’re ok with it so we can go right now!” He says just as he finishes tying Bucky’s laces. He looks up at his friend who’s been watching him with a quiet and shy look on his face, touched to be already cared for by him. Bucky tries to get up and walk on his own when he is stopped by Steve’s hands on his shoulders. “You are certainly not walking all the way back home, i forbid you !” He stops on his tracks looking at Steve’s serious look and opens his mouth to protest only to be cut off “Don’t even try to argue with me about that, your legs are injured, the staff prepared a wheel chair to get out of the hospital then i’ll carry you.” He lowers his head, acknowledging the command and accepting it. Steve brings the wheelchair and kneels down, taking his time to make Bucky sit on it, very careful with his legs. Once he has done it he rests his hands on Bucky’s knees looking up at his friend “Now let’s go away from this place”

Bucky doesn’t protest anymore and let’s Steve carry him when they arrive at the tower. He nestles his head in his neck, trusting completely his friend and enjoying the reassuring strength he shows by carrying him around. Steve is squeezing him even tighter and closer to him, resting his head against his friend’s, enjoying the scent coming of his hair. He gets in Bucky’s room and drops him softly on his bed where he instantly falls asleep.

Steve comes back to the room later, finally cleaned up and wearing new clothes and sits on the side of the bed, looking at his friend peacefully sleeping. Bucky stirs and slowly wakes up from his restorative sleep. He opens his eyes that meet Steve’s directly and he smiles at the closeness of his friend. “Can you help me sit up ?” Steve leans down and takes him in his arms lifting him up, Bucky grips his t-shirt in the process to keep his balance and once he’s reached a sitting position he knows he’s supposed to let go but he can’t, his body can’t do it and he just stays there, hands on the t-shirt, head on his neck and he breathes softly waiting to be pushed away any time soon. He can’t get enough of Steve’s reassuring arms and scent, it’s almost as if it’s the only thing that can make him relax.

He feels Steve starting to move and he prepares himself, sure his friend is going away but he’s surprised when he feels him coming closer and wrapping his arms around him even tighter, properly hugging him. He leans in the embrace, soothed by his presence all around him.

“I thought I had lost you…” Steve’s soft voice is so close to him he shivers “The explosion was so big and i saw that huge building just collapse and you were in it!” He pauses a moment, breathing to stay calm. “I searched everywhere for you and i couldn’t find you, i felt so lost and sad. I couldn’t believe you were gone”

Bucky feels him squeeze a little bit tighter, he can feel the tension in his back muscles, twitching and contracting while he’s speaking.

“They told me to stop looking and wait for the tactical team but i couldn’t do that, i couldn’t just abandon you, i lost you once and i never want to lose you again” He can hear his overwhelming emotions in his voice and he feels his own eyes start to fill with tears.

“So I kept on looking, desperate at this point, almost certain i wouldn’t find you alive. But there you were, answering my calls at last and i finally found you.”

He sighs a big sigh of relief. “Those moments when i didn’t know if you were alive or not really scared me."

Bucky caresses his back trying to reassure him and he shares his thoughts too "I was so alone when i was trapped, at first i thought that i could free myself but it didn't work and i felt such an amount of despair that the only thing in which i could believe was you. I rejected all logic and just prayed for you to come and save me. And you did ! I've never understood how important you were until i thought i could never see you again"

They hug each other tightly until Bucky falls asleep, his hands no longer tracing soothing circles on Steve's back who helps his friend lie down on his bed again. He leans over him to kiss his forehead and lets him rest, still sitting next to him and looking at him sleeping with a fond smile.


End file.
